strange feeling

Another weekend passed. And again weekday is here.

Every week i feel like i'm just living through a cycle. Trainings, school then weekend with my bf. All in singapore, the little puny island.

To me, my life currently is mundane. Another than my passion which i indulge in most of the time and my bf whom i love to be with, the others are just routines. Projects projects and more homeworks.

Even on weekends when projects no longer pester me, i do feel bored even with my bf around. It's not because i'm bored to be with him, it's the limited things we can do together. Every weekend, i wld crack my head on wad i wld like to do but i found none. I would love to travel, go for a backpacking holiday over the weekend, or mayb just a roadtrip. But........all these account for $$$. sigh.....everything's so expensive here. Petrol, car, air tix.

Stuck in this island with mundane life, i wonder how long more can i endure such lifestyle.

I sense animosity at times and i do not why i'm bothered by this. Why do i even bother to amend friendship when it doesn't exist in the first place? Why do i even care to know how well he/she is living now? Why do i even feel disappointed when i noe it wld eventually turn out foul one day?

But one thing i'm sure of. I treasure friendship too much, even acquaintan-ship. So much to the point that it backfires. I shld have known better to stick with friends i know i can trust. However, i thought i could trust this 'good fren' of mine.

I know i'm contradicting myself, this is who i am. I'm frank to the ones i consider friends but once again there are so many people whom i call friends.

Many times, i wish i could be a hermit, not involving in certain social 'ambiguoties'. I tried and i failed. Coz i feel bored without them around.

Often i think of ways to shield myself away from all these. Coz i feel sick of being "arrowed" right at my heart.