exam over over

tell me exam is nth but letters and numbers.
tell me that nothing is more important than what i think it is.
tell me i can do this.
tell me i can pull through this exam and everything wld be alright.
tell me i'm not as dumb as i think i'm beginning to become.

no matter how i hard i pursuade myself, everything becomes less convincing to me. :(

i wish i'm in another place.

what oprah winfrey said abt men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. I
f something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.
* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behaviour.*
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two Way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...
there is nothing cute about baggage...
deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...
when a man always know where you are,
and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
- Isn't this TRUE!!!!!
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

true? opinioned? But i believe it's true for most guys. oh well...

fucking disgusting

paper started and ended with a BANG literally. one look at the paper before attempting, BANG, jialat, cannot do. " Put your pens down" BANG! fail already.

from 1 to 4, all qns looks familiar yet completely un-doable to me. have i gone stupider? it's as if, someone has juz removed all that i've xin xin ku ku memorised and understood away from my brain. erased and gone! wdf.

wad happened?????? this is by far the worst paper i've ever had in my life. LESS than 20% of the paper completed!!!!!! isn't that a 'confirm fail' paper? i;ve nv nv nv nv in my life completed less than 50% of any exam papers!!!!!! i feel so dumb, stupid. so disappointed.

angry or sad. cry or let out the temper? i dunno. i;m so god-damn helpless now.

if uni is free, i would not hesitate to repeat this sem again. regardless i'll pass onot. i would go to the dean and say, i wan to repeat year 2 sem 1. tho my result might not have any red markings. i hate it when i cldn't do any exam paper. i feel like i've learn nth AT ALL!!! defeats the purpose that i'm here. argh......

how man? how how how? wad da fuck was the lecturers thinking? setting such difficult papers with lots of formulas and theories to memorize and yet expect us to do? we aren't robots. CCB! closed book somemore.

sigh.....2 papers down. nth to be happy abt. both sucks like fuck. now i truly truly hate ntu. now i can understand y ntu ranking has been dropping. students are getting more and more demoralised each academic year.

exactly like how i;m feeling now. helpless, lost, confused and uncertainty of emotions.

everything's gray, gray gray fucking gray. blue sky? where? i don't see it. all i see is gray........a shade of black.

zzzzz...sleeeepy

don't sleep, don't sleep......WAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT wo hai shi xiang shui jiao.....

shui ba shui ba......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

15mins later.

hai shi xiang shui jiao.......:(

bad bad daY!

bad bad day!

first up was the MP2012 project presentation. our mechanism failed on us. none of the balls went in when we were presenting to prof. I thought he seemed unimpressed with our mechanism for it being bulky and less attractive. oh well, true enough he said ' if he were us, he wldn't have chose to make this.' We were juz being more challenging and not plainly juz do a simple job and be done with it. He wasn't very mean towards us but he clearly had successfully further dampened our mood. i felt really lousy when it failed and ever more when he said that.

was feeling bad for not staying over with them the previous night. heard that they had been adjusting the mechanism the whole night. But i really couldn't. i would be having the spanish oral the next early afternoon and my period wld be coming as well. predictably around these few days as i had been having symptoms all along.

true enough, it came after the presentation and there came hell. i hate periods! why do i have to suffer like this every month??!?!?!? grr........

predicting that the grade for the mp2012 wld be damn low. but i'm getting over it. it's nth compared to self-achievement. we had successfully overcome the challenge we set upon ourselves on top of that instructed. nvm that it didn't work yesterday. we don't need others' recognition, do we? as long as we learnt something, it's gold to us!

then came spanish. failed grades for listening compre and portfolio. it's ok. it's alright. i told myself. juz ACE the oral part. as usual, i was super duper nervous but when the whole thing was over, the whole class clapped and the professora said " muy bien!". another self-achievement. we only had almost around two days to prepare for it. my partner had been busy and i was the same as well. but we did ACE it. hopefully the grade is A as well. :)

everything comes in pairs eh? nvm that i failed my portfolio, listening compre, presentation, i did feet that i achieved and learned a lot.

and now, i juz hav to forget the unhappiness, unsatisfactory of yesterday and look towards tomorrow. nth is more precious that gaining experiences and lessons. i shall learn how to view grades as juz merely numbers. although it does contribute significantly towards my graduation cert. but i still strongly believe that as long as i'm able to understand wad's presenting infornt it me, and not juz plain memorising and half-understanding, i can ace any qns they giv me.

I WANNA BE A BETTER PERSON!

LET'S GO EVERYONE! let's work hard. forget abt any failures we had encountered, work towards the future!

let's go go gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

happy day!

yesterday was the day! :)

BUT yesterday was also my 'dropping things' day. wadever i'm taking from wherever the thing is, something beside it wld fall. sigh...and my quiz didn't turn out well.

went dinner with jolene, an old friend since back in presby. we spent quite sometime in can 13 catching up and remembering the old times, talking about how we have changed during these few years. it's nice meeting her again though she still likes to tease me, but i'm alright, just laugh it off. she's now in this hall too but i seldom see her due to our own commitments.

after dinner, i rushed back hall as bebe had returned! :) AND guess wad he brought along? AN AQUARIUM!!!! OMG...my jaw dropped when he showed me. WHAT a BIG BIG present!!!! bebe is such a sweetie.

slowly, we set up the tiny ecosystem on my table completed with some koi-liked mini fishes, two water plants, filter system, a small lamp, two prawns and three water snails. watching the swimming creatures among the plants is such a joy....awwww....so touched.

without much surprise ( i heard some suspicious footsteps and whispers ), my roomie and the rest exploded the birthday song at my doorstep. to a great surprise, Harold, sherry and bf and serene came as well....that i didn't expect at all! this birthday makes it feel so special. Thank yeeeeeeeeew everyone altought in the end i had cream from the cake all over my head. :)

and of course, my second sis called and wish me, eldest sis wished me over the msn and bro send a sms which only said : " H B " -.-

anywayz, i half-thought that my roomie forgot. But it turned out that she didn;t, instead she collaborated with so many ppl. hahaha......

many of those whom i haven't contacted for a long time sent me wishes over the net to my surprise. :) thank you sooooo much. makes me feel that i actually existed.

with the new tank on my table, i can;t resist looking at the lively ecosystem every now and then. i can't help but keep feeding the fishes. is 3 times considered too much? i dunno. i hope not. the temptation is just too great. it's an addiction to watch them snap up the food in juz a few seconds. :P hahaha.....i'm so proud that i've got an auqarium. hehe.......

oh yes! sop and the rest bought me a nice nice top though it's too long....( that's the prob of being too short. *sulk )

overall, i was very joyful and still am now! kekekekekeke :D