Emptiness

The longer i stay in this place, the more rusty my brain is. I think lesser, brain processes slower now. Everything is revolving around "STANDARD"-ness. No good at all.

Didn't realise this until I asked a supposedly-logic question to a fellow colleague and kena "fucked" in a nice way. But still I get it, it's retard of me to pose such a easily comprehensible question.

Entire week has been bad. Mood was greatly affected. Couldn't control my sarcasm and quick temper towards the contractors. No good at all.

And black coffee consumed today, in addition to insufficient sleep, makes me super duper hyper today. Aiya.

Entire week has been just a week of fighting fire, putting out fire and prevent escalation of the spark of fire. I am becoming skillful in this area. Looking on the bright side, only in such circumstances that I get to learn more and be more knowledgable. Precious. Mine to keep.

Oh well. Whenever I feel defeated, I would get this I-want-to-get-a-real-good-drinking-session feel. And I found a real good drinking buddy who has a great smile! Ha Ha. Simply loving it.

And tonight, I feel like clubbing. Back to the days, when I was still underaged but still managed to sneak into clubs for drinks and grooving to R&B!

Ahh.....

I wanna club again, with the right people of coz! And no bfs!

It's a deep, black Hole

They say there'll be a light through the darkest times. But they never say how important it is to walk out of the light and be yourself again.

For that, I felt as though I'm thoroughly fucked up. A part of me is smittened by the light......

As I lie on my bed here, these are all I could think of :

1) Fortunately, it was only 30% of me which is no longer listening to my brain
2) Is this really how I should go on?
3) Is this 70% a mistake?
4) Is this a fucking real sign?


It's as though the brain and heart are both disconnected, I am thoroughly confused whether this is just a passing stage.


This is like year 2001 all over again and I remember How I Hated Year 2001 and 2002!